What is Relationship Counselling?
Some people might take the view that attending relationship counselling is an admission of failure - something we only consider in a final attempt to save a relationship that’s gone wrong. Another way of looking at this is to say that going for counselling is a sign of our willingness to be proactive and try to resolve problems rather than avoid them. After all, it can take some courage to recognise when we're experiencing difficulties in our relationship and make the decision to pick up the phone and talk to a counsellor. The fact is that sometimes it can simply feel too difficult to cope with relationship problems on our own and on these occasions it's quite natural to seek counselling to help us to find a way through. Also, attitudes have changed over recent years with the development of social media and we're much more open to the idea of talking about our problems and asking for help than we might have been in previous times. Increasingly, people have come to recognize that if we care about our relationships it's worth investing time and effort in making them work. We can also find ourselves needing help at different stages of our relationships and whilst it would be unwise to see counselling be a cure-all - we still have to put in our own effort - it can certainly help us to improve things with our partner before problems develop into a crisis. It's worth remembering that no issue is ever too small to discuss in counselling and we don't have wait until things get really bad before we take steps to improve our relationship. Even when things feel really difficult couples can often be surprised how much counselling can help to get the relationship back on track.
What sorts of issues can relationship counselling help us with?
Any issue that's causing difficulties in your relationship can be discussed in counselling and it doesn't matter if you are living together, married, gay or straight. It might be that everything seemed to be going fine in a long-term relationship but suddenly you’ve hit a problem and you're unclear how to approach it? Maybe you’ve recently started a new relationship but feel a bit unsure about how things are going or in what direction? Or it could be that a relationship you cared deeply about has recently ended and you are left trying to work out where things went wrong? Maybe you’re not in a relationship at all at the moment but wishing you were, feeling alone and wondering how to make it happen? Sometimes events happen that threaten the very existence of our relationship and the discovery of an affair can leave us wondering if things can ever be the same again. Whatever your concerns I am here to help you and support you.
my thoughts were clouded and not making sense. At the end of this first
session Nick suggested that my wife come to the next and subsequent
sessions. Using his skills Nick was able to get us both to see things from
the others point of view. We found Nick really helpful, he didn't just sit
in the corner nodding and agreeing, he challenged us to think and see
things differently. After a few sessions it was apparent that we had worked
things through and we are both now much happier in our relationship thanks
to Nick." John & Melissa
How would we work together in counselling?
If issues like the ones mentioned here have been on your mind for some time chances are you might be feeling tired and stressed as you go over things again and again searching for answers. When we feel like this counselling can help us to share our deepest thoughts and concerns in confidence with someone who will really hear us. Counselling isn't about taking sides - instead it's more to do with the counsellor being by your side, being available and offering both partners the kind of impartial support you want at the time you most need it. Whilst no one should claim counselling can provide instant solutions couples and individuals often say that talking over relationship issues with a professional counsellor can be transforming - calming tensions and paving the way for meaningful dialogue and renewed understanding that continues outside of therapy. Attending counselling can strengthen our capacity for self-reflection, enabling us to recognise when our own behaviours might be unreasonable and encouraging us to be more thoughtful and considerate towards our partner. At the end of counselling many couples feel they have been able to resolve old hurts and move ahead leaving tensions and conflict behind them.
My commitment to you
I will help you to explore your issues freely without the need for blame or hostility. Sessions will provide you with a safe outlet for sharing strong feelings that is so important in overcoming tension and disagreement. Couples counselling can allow us to be less insistent, to really hear our partner and to begin to focus on working together to heal the relationship. If you have been experiencing relationship difficulties please feel free to call me for an initial consultation to discuss your issues in complete confidence.